When providing care for a loved one with dementia, it can be incredibly challenging. The reality is that caregiving is often a 24/7 job, and while it can be rewarding, it can also cause emotional distress and physical exhaustion in caregivers. 

 Caregiver guilt is defined as feelings of guilt that arise from experiencing negative emotions while caring for someone else. The guilt can feel deeply unsettling, and many look down on themselves for feeling this way, but it’s a completely normal feeling to experience. Caregiving isn’t easy, and it only gets more difficult when adding in other life responsibilities (raising children, jobs, marriage, etc.). 

What are examples of caregiver guilt? 

Feeling like you’re not doing enough: As a caregiver, you may feel guilty about not being able to provide a higher level of support for your loved ones. Many caregivers have additional responsibilities beyond caregiving, such as work and family life. In addition, a lack of training in dementia care can cause stress as well. 

Previous promises not to place your loved one in senior living: Most seniors reject the idea of senior living – 77% of seniors surveyed by the AARP said they prefer to age in place. However, there may be a time when it’s in the best interest of the senior and their family to move into assisted living. Some parents tell their children they will never move into a senior living facility – or even ask them to promise they’ll never place them in a nursing home. While we all want to strive to keep our promises and make our parents happy, there are times when we must prioritize what’s truly best for their well-being. 

Neglecting other responsibilities: Caregiving can be a full-time job, especially for those caring for dementia patients who are in the late stages of the disease. Time spent caregiving can lead to other responsibilities being delayed or left unfinished. 

Feeling stretched thin or emotionally exhausted: Caregiving is an exhausting job. In addition to most caregivers being unpaid, it is a physically and emotionally demanding task that often leaves caregivers feeling burnt out and unappreciated.

In our culture, there is a lack of sensitivity related to caregiving, especially for the disabled and elderly. Many people feel that it’s a form of giving back and that children should feel grateful for the chance to help their parents, as they once helped them. It’s true that caregiving can be a rewarding task, but that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult, especially when caring for parents with memory care disorders such as dementia. 

Memory disorders are often accompanied by behavioral, physical, and emotional challenges that some may feel unequipped for. It’s best for both the caregiver and care recipient to have strategies to cope with caregiver guilt. Some people believe that these feelings can just be ignored, but at the end of the day, it may affect your ability to give care and your relationship with your parents in the long-term. 

Those experiencing caregiver guilt or stress may feel there’s no solution to resolving those feelings. There are options to resolve these emotions and lead to a better outcome for both caregivers and care recipients.  

Find a Support Network: 

Caregiving can feel isolating, but you don’t have to take the journey alone. Reaching out to friends and family for additional support can make all the difference in your caregiving journey. Another great resource is finding a caregiver support group, where you can connect with others experiencing the same challenges. 

Self-Care: 

It’s important to remember that your needs still matter and it’s necessary to practice self-care. Take time to focus on leisure and self-care activities that promote personal well-being. Reading a book, taking a walk, and catching up with friends can be great ways to focus on yourself. You can’t take good care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost. 

When It’s Time for a Memory Care Move: 

As our parents age, we often feel a deep desire to give back for the love, care, and sacrifices they made while raising us. Many adult children find themselves taking on some level of caregiving as their parents grow older.  

Dementia presents a lot of serious challenges, and there may come a point where memory care is the best option for both you and your loved one. Putting a parent in a memory care facility might evoke feelings of guilt. It’s important to remember that memory care placement doesn’t mean you failed as a caregiver; it means you are doing the right thing for your parents by placing them in an environment where they can receive support and thrive.  

Putting your parent in memory care doesn’t mean your role stops – it will just look different. You can focus more on spending quality family time with your parent while knowing their care needs are being met. 

 Our memory care facility offers residents a setting where they can make new friends, receive caregiver support 24/7, and participate in recreational activities such as exercise and card games tailored to the needs of individuals with dementia. This offers families peace of mind knowing their loved one is well-cared for. Book a tour today!

A dementia diagnosis can be very intimidating to individuals and their families. It signals a decline in cognitive abilities, and there isn’t a cure for most memory disorders. Many also fear that the individual affected will no longer be able to engage in activities for their enjoyment or benefit.

People with memory care disorders at all stages can still enjoy activities, even if that participation looks different. Dementia is a memory disorder that refers to the loss of memory, language, and cognitive abilities that affects the ability to function in everyday life. It’s important to know the stages as well as the activities and levels of participation that are best for each stage.

Early-Stage Dementia:

Individuals who are impacted by early-stage dementia may still be able to function independently. Although individuals may still participate in their daily routine, you may start to notice signs of memory decline, like misplacing their keys. Symptoms start to have some impact on the person’s life. Other common symptoms include:

Memory lapses: forgetting or losing items around the house, frequent difficulty finding the right word in conversation, inability to recall recent events

Difficulty in planning and problem-solving: confusion is more common, and individuals affected by dementia have trouble planning and making complex choices

Increasing irritability or anxiety: mood changes may arise at this stage, where anxiety and depression become more common. Signs of these mood changes include withdrawal from hobbies or socialization and lack of self-confidence

In the early stages, most individuals can still participate in regular recreational activities. Memory impairment may become evident, especially with memory-related games. Activities that are most helpful at this stage involve storytelling, memory activities such as word searches and puzzles, and self-expression activities such as painting or singing along to music. Though practicing memory activities may seem counterintuitive, it can be beneficial for people with dementia to help jog their memory.

Middle-Stage:

The middle stage of dementia presents changes and symptoms that become much more noticeable, especially to family and friends of those affected. At this point in the disease, many individuals need either reminders or physical assistance with completing activities of daily living (ADLs). Common ADLs include bathing, dressing, and toileting. Symptoms include:

Memory decline: Individuals who experience dementia have more difficulty recognizing people in their lives at this stage, and repetition of the same question is common. They may also forget basic information about themselves, such as their phone number, age, and home address

Confusion increases: People with dementia at this stage tend to get more easily confused about where they are and the time of day, and this may lead to wandering

Hallucinations and delusions: Middle-stage dementia often presents issues related to paranoia and seeing or hearing things that are not real. Common delusions among individuals with dementia are that someone is stealing from them or that a lover is cheating on them

During the middle stage of dementia, many people still desire to participate in recreational activities but may need prompting to start or continue engagement. The best activities for this stage include cognitive skills (such as daily living tasks like folding laundry), easy physical activities such as guided walks, memory activities like watching an old movie, and sorting.

Late-Stage:

This stage of dementia causes a very significant impact on the lives of those who have dementia, and often on their caregivers as well. At this point, individuals require full-time, 24/7 care, available around the clock, and need physical assistance with every activity of daily living. It’s very common to see drastic personality changes and a loss of ability to control their movement or respond to most of the world around them. Symptoms include:

Difficulty or loss of ability to communicate

Increased emotional distress, restlessness, and fear

Physical immobility: difficulty walking, eating, and swallowing, and incontinence is common at this stage

Individuals who are at the severe stage of dementia have limited abilities to communicate and experience increased emotional difficulty due to memory loss. At this stage, activities should be focused on providing sensory comfort and gentle stimulation to impacted individuals. Even if individuals are unable to communicate, they can still enjoy sensory activity participation, meaning that engagement is important at this stage.

Activities that best support individuals at this stage are gentle stretches, pet therapy, holding hands, and looking at old photos. Social interaction is still important at this stage, regardless of the affected individual’s ability to talk. Friends, family, and caregivers can accomplish this by telling stories or reading to the individual as well.

Despite the challenges that dementia brings, people with dementia can still find comfort and enjoyment from participating in recreational activities that are fun and mindful of their abilities. It is important to consider that some activities may have to be significantly modified to meet the needs of individuals with moderate to severe dementia, as their cognitive and physical abilities will decline over time. In addition, during the progression of the disease, they may show disinterest in hobbies they’ve previously enjoyed, so new activities may have to replace old ones.

Though a dementia diagnosis can be challenging for individuals and their families, recreational activities are a great way to navigate those difficulties and provide stimulation and enjoyment. By utilizing activities that play to the individual’s strengths and capabilities, memory care patients and their caregivers will see positive outcomes. Memory care facilities can offer great assistance for dementia patients and their families, providing activities that are tailored to the needs and capabilities of individuals with dementia. Chantilly Heights in Chantilly VA offers 24/7 recreational activities for its memory care residents, providing a variety of entertainment and engagement that has something for every resident. If you or your loved one is struggling with a memory care disorder, we can help. Reach out to us today to book a tour!